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the complete version of: mySchizzo, unpublished series.
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| she was never made by a stone,
even looking over her mourn just give yourself see her with no tears.
latest porcelain that kept by distance,
and she was one of the stars above.
thinking of doing well, and sure she used to tell.
she had the feeling,
still been longing to confess every single thing.
and it was not an ignorance that put over you,
cause it was only an insidious love that she has been hiding through.
2006 | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment   |
| | Current Music: | Iron & Wine - The Trapeze Swinger | | Current Location: | bedroom | | Security: | | | Subject: | virulent blisters | | Time: | 10:21 pm | | Current Mood: |  complacent |
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| nothing can be barely tell me,
that what we had just kind of misery.
soft on spot and hurt all plot.
drowned for so many reasons,
we had never found.
we keep head up, for now we recall.
but all the good things are always go away.
virulent blisters cracked,
me and myself dying in silence without ever been reckoned.
2006 | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | Depapepe - Wake Up | | Current Location: | Cineleisure | | Security: | | | Subject: | empty | | Time: | 11:16 am | | Current Mood: |  crappy |
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| you may see that i am empty,
but i am full enough to see.
you fill me in with your story,
your hesitation mystery,
your secret valuable memory,
your every miracle arogancy...
...which complete me differently,
just like a rough land to be walked up on and on.
i follow my way lost and found,
through the affection and all fathom atom of mine.
you may see that i am empty,
but i'm full enough to be.
2006
empty afternoon at Cineleisure, Damansara. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| i feel you here, right in front of me.
i feel you are not that far,
so i still can notice your latest scar.
i feel like i want to touch you,
too see how things treat you out there.
i feel like i want to be with you,
sitting and talking in the dawn,
and face the day with eyes closed.
time will freeze.
you say no word and so do i.
smile each other and touch the sky,
we nod we greet like we are always even care.
together we ride our days.
together me and you, in our secret way of living an unfathomable life.
with me by your side, with you by my side.
all i need to see is you.
even it is not the real you that shown in front of me.
but as long as it is somehow-you,
so i would be just fine.
and it would be just...
fine.
2006
genting highland's writing. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| floating mind, you are not here.
recovery, and trying hard to be.
this throat is empty.
who needs the sweet,
who wants that gentle berry?
thirsty and psychotic pain cause a little worry,
over you and over your heart,
lately.
ice cubes give a hope,
the freshness lets me cope.
you are just so special, honeybee,
but your citrus betrays me.
oh thee, orange special for me,
maybe i'm just missing a bit of your taste,
badly.
2006
enjoying 'the best orange special in the world' of SS2 with jeen and seng hean, while miss him. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| irritating,
oh it is so well disturbing.
stuck unanswered,
intimidated.
going to call suicide.
acid rain over me,
practically undenied.
here please read my mind,
read over my pain.
mean on you, if i were not used to.
be real with me.
just hide inside me.
run no more,
end the hurt some more.
heck the fact, see how lack.
hummiliating yet terrifying.
leave me a big clue,
so i can come to find you.
2006
lines written right after i received last message from my mate. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| there are a lot of things hidden behind my joy,
the sorrows couldn't be seen while this smile is still here.
you can accross the ocean and fall over the ground.
you even can fly to the sky and catch your life around.
you are playing with hopes, you are playing with minds.
once those broken all you can see are failures.
fail crumble along your humble...
and life ruins, could not even bother.
though it is pain and could not be wiped away by rain,
but all my feelings go through their means.
i couldn't even notice whether i like you or just want to cling into.
but someday i will know what those cries try for me to do,
understand you just for who you are.
now you are about to go,
and i could do nothing but hoping.
will i ever see you through the galaxy?
or you shall not be there?
by all the time i need to tell you,
that i definitely lurk to love you.
2005
re-written back on 2006. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| fever, is just starting to touch over you,
going instantly in blue and shade everything so true.
fever, should we just let it over,
or take a look for another grip to stand from fall over?
'cause by the time you are here,
conquer all over me, all about thee,
and i could do nothing toward you.
you come along,
suddenly be my sunshine today,
and day by day,
ways ahead of part of being fever.
fever, i may get numb even colder,
run away to see further,
but doesn't mean heal that i prefer.
since by the time you are here,
confused all out of me then deceived by me,
and i can't easily show love toward you.
you are around,
suddenly be my sunshine today,
and day by day,
ways ahead of tired run in fever.
2006
fever. and i thank God for that short time. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | Kings of Leon - King of Rodeo | | Current Location: | bedroom | | Security: | | | Subject: | terlalu berbeda | | Time: | 09:10 am | | Current Mood: | crappy |
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| kenapa aku harus mencintai orang yang salah?
dia bukan berarti tidak baik,
bukan berarti lebih buruk daripada aku.
dia hanya, terlalu berbeda.
kenapa setelah sekian lama aku berusaha mengobati diriku sendiri,
berusaha melupakan apa yang melukaiku sebelumnya,
kini aku kembali menyakiti diriku sendiri?
aku mencintai dirimu, yang terlalu berbeda.
dirimu yang tidak bisa kumengerti dan kutelusuri sepenuhnya.
aku berusaha menyelami dunia di balik matamu dengan cintaku,
dan yang kudapat hanyalah rasa sakit,
karena aku terlalu menerima keberadaanmu.
kau bisa jadi terlalu indah.
kau bisa jadi terlalu mewah.
kau bisa jadi hanyalah apa yang bisa kusebut
mimpi, mimpi di alam sadarku.
aku mencintaimu yang mungkin tidak mencintaiku.
dan aku membuka pintu hatiku lebar-lebar,
untuk sekedar mengerti dan memahamimu.
diri ini mungkin terlanjur mengalah,
tapi perasaan ini juga tidak bisa aku pungkiri.
kau sudah sedemikian berarti,
dan mengendap di sebagian kecil sisi hati ini.
melepaskanmu atau menahanmu adalah hal yang tidak pernah bisa aku putuskan.
perasaan ini membuat aku tertawa dan menangis dalam waktu yang bersamaan.
aku ingin berlari, dari ketidakpahamanku.
aku ingin berhenti, dari ketidakjelasanmu.
darimu, hantu dalam hidupku.
2006
(to him, as ghost in my life) | | comments: Leave a comment |
| talk please talk please talk plastic,
since i know all your words are magic.
so please talk and talk and do talk with me,
since you know that this solitude will kill me.
talk please talk please talk plastic,
do your tricks, your wise, and those magics to me.
as if our minds, our souls, and our dying serenity,
are united and need to be gathered.
talk please talk please talk plastic,
because myself is in desperately need to talk.
talk please talk please talk plastic,
talk please talk,
talk please talk...
...transparently.
so i know you and you know me.
2006
was written in genting highland, dedicated to my morning conversation's mate. | | comments: Leave a comment |
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the complete version of: mySchizzo, unpublished series.
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